The Introvert’s Path from Pain to Confidence

It strikes me that these are the two classic paths for introverts. And this description helps explain the connection between introversion, shyness, and anxiety.

Of course real life is not so linear as the models below, but this makes a good bite-sized model. I hope you find this helpful.

The Path of Increasing Pain

If there’s no understanding or consciousness of one’s introverted temperament and how our brains work, introversion can lead to anxiety like in this example:



perfectionism and self-judgment

believing the negative stereotypes about introverts

shyness (fear of being seen as imperfect)

avoidance and/or wearing an extrovert mask

increasing fear and exhaustion

anxiety and low self-esteem
trapped in worsening anxiety and burnout.

Ouch, I’ve been on that path. It didn’t have to be like that. Finally I learned about introversion and that made a huge difference.

This painful path is more likely or worsened in cultures that tend to look down on introversion, such as in the U.S. But even in cultures that support introversion, the introvert’s brain is still prone to over-thinking which can lead to anxiety if left unchecked.

The Path of Growth and Ease

If an introvert learns about introversion, this is a more likely path:


learn about introversion

tap into introvert strengths

manage introvert challenges

fulfillment and ease, in social situations and beyond.

The moral of the story: Self-awareness is critical.

I’ve taken this path and it has paid off for me. I see it pay off for others too.

Now that I feel more confident and comfortable speaking up when I want to, some people think I’m an extrovert. They confuse confidence with extroversion. You CAN be a confident introvert.

Of course everyone, including me, still has their shy moments or anxious moments. I’m not talkin’ perfection. I’m talking about making choices that support more pain or more growth. Ya know?

I know these paths I’ve drawn are quite simplistic, like a view from 1000 feet up, of a typical scenario. There are other paths, but in my observations (and I’ve been a studious observer on this my whole life), they have a similar flavor to them.

Do you recognize parts of your story in there? I hope it’s helpful for you. I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments section below.

Want To Stick to the Path of Ease?

Start with learning. I recommend this starting place for learning about introversion.

You can also join me in The Introvert Clubhouse (free online group and more). It helps to connect with other people who want to be on the growing path. And I’ve got more treats in store for my Introvert Inspiration subscribers.

Introvert Inspiration
Booster shots of ease and belonging for quiet-loving women.
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