I have a fellow introvert friend named Emma who reminds me of me when I was younger, in all the good ways. Quiet, thoughtful, curious about everything, and adventurous in her own way. (Actually I wish I had been more like her brave self.)
She always raises such good questions, so I enjoy our email conversations about navigating our way in the world as introverts who want to have a say in things.
Often she asks questions that I hear many introverts asking. This particular question shown below is so classic. If you’re introverted, you have heard this many times:
“You’re so quiet” or “Why are you being so quiet?”
Sound familiar? It’s just one version of something that can be about looking down on our introverted nature.
So I asked Emma for permission to share our conversation here, and she said yes. It addresses a common concern for introverts in a way that felt so useful. I wanted to share it with you in case it helps you too.
I think we all tend to confuse extroversion with confidence. So let’s re-think it.
I’m an introvert and when I speak up confidently about something, people sometimes say, “You must be an extrovert.”
Hey, I can be an introvert AND be confident and out-spoken. (I can hear my confident introverted friend Jenn saying “Hell yeh.”)
Do you think introversion and confidence can go together? Think about it.
I was painfully shy in the past and I’m not anymore… but I’m still an introvert.
I believe that no matter how shy or anxious you might feel in certain social situations, there’s a way to find more ease and confidence. And you can still be an introvert (which is not the same as shyness). Continue reading
I think you’d be surprised how much clothing comes up when talking with my career and business coaching clients. What is it about what we wear that seems to have such power over us?
Haven’t you put on a nice outfit and you suddenly feel like a million bucks? (Like The Red-Headed Diva shown in the photo.) Conversely, the wrong outfit can ruin your mood.
Sometimes we pretend we’re “above” that fashion stuff (while we secretly watch makeover shows). Let’s forget about judging or questioning it. Instead, let’s take a lesson from the drag queens who know the power of a great outfit!
Let’s consciously use that power of our clothes for our benefit.