It strikes me that these are the two classic paths for introverts. And this description helps explain the connection between introversion, shyness, and anxiety.
Of course real life is not so linear as the models below, but this makes a good bite-sized model. I hope you find this helpful.
The Path of Increasing Pain
If there’s no understanding or consciousness of one’s introverted temperament and how our brains work, introversion can lead to anxiety like in this example:
perfectionism and self-judgment
believing the negative stereotypes about introverts
shyness (fear of being seen as imperfect)
avoidance and/or wearing an extrovert mask
increasing fear and exhaustion
anxiety and low self-esteem ↓
trapped in worsening anxiety and burnout.
Ouch, I’ve been on that path. It didn’t have to be like that. Finally I learned about introversion and that made a huge difference.
This painful path is more likely or worsened in cultures that tend to look down on introversion, such as in the U.S. But even in cultures that support introversion, the introvert’s brain is still prone to over-thinking which can lead to anxiety if left unchecked.
I think you’d be surprised how much clothing comes up when talking with my career and business coaching clients. What is it about what we wear that seems to have such power over us?
Haven’t you put on a nice outfit and you suddenly feel like a million bucks? (Like The Red-Headed Diva shown in the photo.) Conversely, the wrong outfit can ruin your mood.
Sometimes we pretend we’re “above” that fashion stuff (while we secretly watch makeover shows). Let’s forget about judging or questioning it. Instead, let’s take a lesson from the drag queens who know the power of a great outfit!
Want to inspire someone to do something new? Want them to hire you, buy something, follow your lead, become more earth-friendly?
Start by drawing a compelling vision of the future outcome.
Or as Simon Sinek says in this persuasive video (embedded above), start with the WHY. Only then will people listen to the WHAT and HOW.
Sinek gives memorable examples of successful persuasion, from Martin Luther King, Jr., to the success of Apple. If these ideas are at all confusing, take a moment to watch this important video. And at least remember this:
[MLK] gave the ‘I have a dream’ speech, not the ‘I have a plan’ speech. ~Simon Sinek
In honor of Ada Lovelace Day, March 24th, I’m dedicating this post to public health thought leader Elizabeth Pisani. Ada Lovelace Day is an international day to honor women leaders in science and technology.
Pisani is inspiring me today for speaking the truth about her findings even if what works is morally or politically unpopular.
We could all stand to think about where we’re just being agreeable when we know it’s not helping matters. At work maybe? Continue reading →