Finding Words and Answers Amidst Darkness

white-roseI originally wrote this post in December 2012 after a school shooting in Connecticut. Ouch, it hurts still to say those words. And I came back here today after yet another mass shooting in Florida to see how it might help me and others face this roller-coaster of emotions.

As I have questioned my emotional ups and downs this week, wondering why I can’t think straight sometimes, I’m reminding myself right now that this is normal and healthy. I’m so grateful a dear friend reminded me it’s not depression, it’s just a brain rewiring in process, and the message is “Please stand by. Upgrade in process.” Haha, that rings a bell. Allowing. Allowing.

I offer this earlier post to you and myself once again, because it still feels right, on this day in June 2016. Here it is from 2012:


The hard-to-talk-about dark side needs a voice today.

I want to honor what is present, and hopefully offer something helpful.

We struggle to talk about the dark side. And I believe we must visit it sometimes—in small doses—if we want to live fully and heal what needs healing.

Today, I’m thinking of the heart-breaking school tragedy on Dec. 14th, the unfathomable destruction of Hurricane Sandy, ongoing wars that we hardly discuss, and the countless losses people are carrying during the holidays.

I see people searching for answers and connection online. Or running from loss because it’s too big.

A friend who lost her son this year told me that it’s hard to know when to mention her son’s name to others, but he’s always on her mind and the weight is heavy as the family gathers for the holidays. Wondering whether to hang his Christmas stocking… is one of many unanswerable questions. My heart sinks as I imagine each question unfolding.

I don’t pretend to have the answers. But I will share what words I am finding helpful. Continue reading

Addicted to Social Media, Anyone?

Every year I go to a fun relaxed day of learning called Podcamp, where we learn from each other about the latest in social media.

As I think about what social media topics most interest me, the one that rises to the top is how to stay out of the addictive nature of social media. So I decided to sort out my thoughts about it here and then maybe I’ll lead a session on this topic.

I think I’ll even ask everyone in the session to power down their technology, and find out what happens. Withdrawal? Real connections?

Here are my thoughts about the problem and some solutions. And don’t miss the fun Muppets video that will give you some relief right away.  Continue reading

Your “Worst” Trait Could Be Your Superpower

The 'flaws' make it beautiful.

The ‘flaws’ make it beautiful.

One of my clients recently told me (and gave permission to quote this),

I realize that my perceived weaknesses were actually my greatest strengths, and now my work depends on those ‘weaknesses’.” 

That’s actually a common experience! A trait in ourselves we’ve hated turns out to be our biggest gift!!

And our career fulfillment might depend on uncovering that gift.

Continue reading

The Wisdom of Winter for Everyday Shadows

winter shadowsDo these everyday shadows sound familiar? Plaguing self-criticism; wondering if you’ll ever reach your dreams; spiritual angst; loneliness; winter blues; or plain ol’ stuck-on-the-couch days?

We each have our internal or hidden struggles — our shadows. Of course there are also the big tragedies in life (which I responded to in last week’s post), but today I’m talking about the internal stuff.

On a recent stuck-on-the-couch day, I drew an angel card that said, “What you perceive to be your dark side holds a hidden treasure.” Hmmm. It rang true.

After sitting with that message, it led to a major breakthrough because I looked closer at the shadow and saw the amazing gifts there that I needed to bring to my work. The light returned. What a release! (FYI, Your “Worst” Trait Could Be Your Superpower.)

What does this mean, in a practical sense, for coping with our shadow side?  Continue reading